For decades, many American home sellers paid a combined commission of somewhere around 5 to 6% when they sold.
On a typical house, that’s a very large sum. And most sellers never negotiated it.
Here’s the strange part. The National Association of Realtors had long said commissions were negotiable. Technically, they were. But practices built up over years made a particular range feel like the price, rather than a starting point.
In October 2023, a jury in Missouri found the NAR and several large brokerages liable for conspiring to keep commissions high, in a verdict of nearly $1.8 billion. In March 2024 the NAR agreed to a $418 million settlement and to change its rules, without admitting wrongdoing.
From August 2024, buyers have had to sign a written agreement with their agent before touring homes, and offers of compensation to buyers’ agents can no longer be advertised on the listing services the industry runs.
Whatever you think of the case, it reveals something about how negotiation works in everyday life.
The biggest money isn’t usually lost in negotiations that go badly. It’s lost in negotiations nobody realised were happening.
Think about how many prices in your life feel fixed. Your bank’s fees. Your insurance renewal. The rate a contractor quotes. The salary band for a new job. The “standard terms” in a contract.
Some of those genuinely aren’t negotiable. Many are simply presented as if they weren’t. A printed form. A confident tone. A phrase like “that’s how it’s done” or “everyone charges this”. None of those things is a rule. They’re the opening position of someone who’d prefer you didn’t notice.
And this raises an uncomfortable question. How many of your costs are high not because anyone bargained hard against you, but because you never asked?
I’m not suggesting you haggle over everything. That’s exhausting, and it can damage relationships. But it’s worth knowing which costs are conventions and which are constraints, because they look identical until you test them.
In Marta Skarbek’s This is Negotiation I argue that the first skill of negotiation isn’t persuasion. It’s recognition: noticing that you’re in one.
So try this. Think of the largest regular payment you make that you’ve never questioned. Is it actually fixed? And if you’ve never asked, what’s stopping you?
Find the book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Marta-Skarbeks-This-Negotiation-negotiator/dp/B0D7VXFV7S
#Negotiation, #RealEstate, #PersonalFinance, #Money, #NegotiationSkills, #ConsumerRights, #Business, #Pricing, #SavingMoney, #FinancialLiteracy, #DecisionMaking
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